Marauders larking about in kindergarden
by Miss Lupin
Summary: Ok So the Marauders have gone back to the time of their kinder garden days...joined by Snape, Lily and a near suicide teacher!
1. Kindergarden Horrors

(a/n: OK MY MATE MADCAT AND I WROTE THIS TOGETHER)

M/C= MADCAT

M/L= MISS LUPIN

was a quiet day at Acorn Nursery, until they arrived!  
  
Severus Snape was sitting in the corner playing with toy potion bottle When suddenly the door burst open and four 3 year old boys walked in Beatle style.  
(M/L: Slow motion)  
  
The leader was James Potter a scrawny black haired boy with round glasses.  
(M/C: HUGE!)  
Beside James was Sirius Black.  
(M/L: No comment)  
(M/C: humana humana!)  
  
Next was Peter Pettigrew, a small chubby boy with a plump round face. And golden blonde hair.  
(M/C: Traitor)  
(M/L: calm down madcat!)  
  
Then there was Remus Lupin a under weight boy with straw like hair and Amber eyes.  
(M/L: Humana Humana!)  
(M/C: He's three for goodness sake!)  
  
A little red haired girl named Lily, ran over to James and hugged him and trapped his arms at his side. Sirius burst out laughing and started to sing "Lily and James sitting in a tree A-B-C-D-E-F-G!"  
  
James gave Sirius an evil glare "Shut up!" he hissed.  
"Maybe I will…..Maybe I won't!" Sirius retorted.  
  
The Child minder appeared out of the blue, "Good morning children….OH NO NOT YOU FOUR AGAIN!" The four Marauders stared up at her with puppy dog eyes, trying to look innocent, but huge grins spread across their faces.  
  
Severus began to tremble with fear, every time he was near the Maruaders something TERRIBLE would happen. So he slid silently into the shadows of a corner. But it was to late.  
(M/L: Man we're cruel!)  
  
"Hey guys it's Snape!" Remus shouted.  
"Hi yeah grease ball!" Sirius remarked.  
"The plastic surgeons called about your nose!" James started "they said it would take them a year or so to complete!"  
Severus sighed heavily. He knew they wouldn't stop there.  
  
The Marauders moved in closer for the kill. Severus felt fear fall upon him and he felt the urgent need for the loo.  
  
"Lets tie his under wear to a flag pole while he is still wearing them!" Sirius suggested.  
  
"Sirius I warned you about threatening the other children!" The child minder said  
"and you promised to stop with the pranks, same goes for you three to!" She said pointing her finger at James, Remus and Peter. "Now do you promise to behave?" She asked.  
  
"Yes!" they replied in union. But of course they had their fingers crossed behind their backs. All the kinder gardeners sat altogether on the floor in front off the teachers chair.  
  
Sirius was trying to fling elastic bands at Snapes head. While Remus was falling asleep on the floor and James and Peter were plying rock, paper scissors.  
  
Lily was fiddling with here long hair. While the teacher rambled on about them having to tell the rest class their favourite nursery rhymes.  
  
"Now, who wants to go first?" She asked.  
No one moved but the Marauders hands were straight up in the air and waving frantically.  
  
"Anyone? Please?...on ok Sirius your up first." She sighed. Sirius jumped up with pride as the other Marauders clapped and whistled. Sirius took a long deep bow to show his appreciation.  
  
(M/C: Tune to twinkle twinkle little star)  
"This is one I like to call.." Sirius thought up something quickly in his head " twinkle twinkle Puppy star!" He began to sing.  
  
"Twinkle twinkle puppy star,  
I like going to the bar,  
I have beer and sometimes gin,  
That is why I full of sin,  
I play pranks with Marauder friends,  
We'll torture Snape until the end,  
Twinkle twinkle puppy star,  
I like going to the bar…"  
  
The Marauders burst into applause, while Snape looked completely terrified.  
Sirius sat back down after a high five from James.  
  
"Thank you…Sirius for that uplifting song!" the teacher said sarcastically. "Now who's next?"  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Slaps and nappies

Chapter 2

A/N: Madcat changed her username to Miss Black, so her sign will be M/B

OK? Warning: we are very hyper at the moment and talking like 3 year olds with a crazy bitch hamster. Ok on with the story……….Ok we start on 3...ok…1!…2!…u ready 3?

Back at the Acorn nursery the marauders were waiting for their turn to say their fave nursery rhyme. 

"So who wants to go next?" The teacher asked.

"You want a riddle?" Sirius asked "Ok…so take the word NEXT and take off the T and then change N into S… and what do you get? Teacher?" 

A sloth silence filled the room, while a the marauders answered the question in a Mexican wave, saying "SEX!!!"

Suddenly they jumped up and formed a line and started doing a congo line, while singing….

"Se-e-e-e-e-ex, S-e-e-e-ex! S-e-e-e-e-x!" Then James who was at the front started singing 

"Take you're your shirt off LILY, Take your shirt LILY!" And Sirius at the back sung "Go to hell SNAPE! Go to hell SNAPE!"

(M/L: Random or what?)

(M/B: GO SIRIUS! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOT REALLY!! PARTY ANYWAY!!!)

(M/L: Ahem… calm down miss black, lets carry on with the story!)

So they sat down again, while a pair of socks was steeling the teachers money out of her purse. 

"I want to go next!!! Pick me I'm ever so smart!" Remus shouted.

(M/L: Man I've got a major Wedgie!)

(M/B: you do realize your typing that?)

(M/L: I am……Damn it!)

Anyway…. Remus stood before the class, he looked soooooo sexy, he stood like a real man. Suddenly the song "I'm too sexy for my shirt" comes on and he does the full monty just for Miss Lupin…..

(M/B: Ahem…….getting a bit carried away there? Don't you think?)

Ok so that didn't, but wouldn't it be cool if it did? Anyway he took in a deep breast I mean……breath and sang little song

(M/L: I am little tea pot tune)

"I'm a little werewolf,

Short and stout,

Here is my tail, and here is my snout,

When it is a full moon hear shout,

Lock me up,

DON'T let me out!"

Remus sat back down, with all the other marauders chanting "MOONY! MOONY! MOONY!"

"EXCUSE ME!" The teacher screamed.

"What?" The boys asked curiously.

"Remus is not flash his bum at anyone!" The teacher exclaimed.

"Moony means to flash your butt?" Sirius questioned.

Suddenly the 3 other marauders burst into fits of laughter while Remus ran into a corner, and wet himself…..

(M/L: MISS BLACK!!!)

(M/B: Fine I'll change it…along with his nappy)

(M/L: I read that!)

(M/B: Well I typed it in front of you!)

Remus ran a corner and blushed! (And wet himself…hehehe she didn't see me typing it!) 

"HAHAHA Remus you got such a crap nickname!!"

Suddenly….

(M/L: What I s it with us and the word suddenly?)

A invisible hand slapped Sirius's face……twice. 

"What the hell was that?" James asked as a bright red mark appeared on each side of Sirius's face. 

(M/L: MISS LUPIN!)

(M/L: Just getting my own back…)

(M/B: Well time to end the Chapter!)

THE END OF THE CHAPTER….or is it?

M/L: Oh my gosh who's going to believe us about the killer socks?

M/B: I known how stupid can you get?

M/L: Hey Miss Black what's that in the corner

M/B: Is that a sock?

M/L: Ahh Get it off me!! Where are you taking me?!

(Miss Lupin has left the building)

M/B: Hey you socks bring Miss Lupin back we need her for the other chapters! Oh god this will take a long time….

(Miss Black has left the building)

K/S: HAHAHA Killer socks shall rise! And we shall attack at dawn, first we shall send in the 3 toed sloth's and then the pigeons with the machine guns!" HAHAHA the world shall be ours!

(The killer socks have left the building!)

See you next chapter!


	3. Revolution

M/B: Prepare. 

M/L: TO JOUST!!!!! 

M/B: I told you to stop playing that game!!! 

M/L: NEVER! MUMMY! 

M/B: I wouldn't produce such an ugly child 

M/L: HEY! 

M/B: Prepare.....for execution! 

M/L: Um.you mean the next chapter? 

M/B: Oh right that.  
  
Peter was already standing in front of everyone preparing to. 

(M/L: JOUST!!) (

M/B: What do you actually do in joust?) 

(M/L: Run around on ostriches pinching each others buttocks) (

M/B: Oh! I gotta try this game out!)  
  
Any who. Peter was already standing in front of everyone preparing to…. 

(M/B: Don't even think about it!) 

(M/L: Too late!)

..sing his song.  
  
(M/L: Tune to Georgie Porgie.)  
  
"Prongsy Wongsy, puddin' and pie, 

(M/B: Ummmmm PIE!*drool*) 

Kissed Lily made her cry. 

When the Marauders came out to play, 

Prongsy, Wongsy ran away!"  
  


Peter sat down looking smug 

(M/B: The conspirator, collaborator, traitor, turncoat.etc etc etc)  
  
Suddenly. 

(M/L: There that word again!) 

Miss Black entered the Fan fic holding a pigeon knife ready to kill Peter. Suddenly the hand of Miss Lupin pulled her back. 

(M/L: OH NO YOU DON'T!)  
  
"Your turn Jimmy! And make it revengeful!" Sirius hissed at James. 

"Ok I'll do my best." James said. Pushing his huge glasses back on his nose bridge. 

(M/B: Massive glasses!!!) 

He stood before the glass, we mean class…… 

(M/B: Why did you type that?) 

(M/L: Coffee..taking.over!)  
  
….and prepared to….. 

(M/L: JOUST!) 

(M/B: You should really lay of the coffee!) 

(M/L: Well look who's talking Miss I'm a sugar addict!)  
  
….sing his song. 

(M/B: Tune to hush little baby!)  
  
"Hush little Wormtail, 

Don't say a word, 

Voldies going to make you a Dark arts nerd,

And if you don't do what Voldie say, 

He's going to blow you up someday!"  
  
The teacher looked absolutely scared stiff. James sat back down looking even MORE smug then Peter. 

"Who the heck is Voldie?" Sirius demanded. 

"I dunno." James replied. The teacher moved over to james and grabbed him by the shoulders. 

"James have you ever had dreams or maybe deja-vu?" She enquired.

"Hey! Don't go all Spanish on me!" James spat. 

"Um.It's French." She said. 

(M/L: Ok this next bit is the boys thoughts about deja -vu French.) 

James:.. 

Sirius:.... 

Peter:......mmm Pie... 

Remus: I knew that! How dumb can you get!  
  
"Back off baby!" Sirius said, prying the teacher away from James. 

"Don't call me baby!" She hissed. 

"BABY! BABY! BABY! BABY! BABY! BABY! BABY! BABY!" Sirius yelled. 

"Oh whatever!" the teacher said, sitting in her seat " Oh children I forgot to tell you but 3 students are joining us shortly."  
Suddenly… 

(M/L:NOOOOOO!)

…A new girl entered the room.  
  
A/N: See ya next chapter! Come Miss Black let us go feed the flying chipmunks!


	4. Coffee levels fading

M/B: Sorry we haven't updated in AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGES!!!!!!! We've been…busy! DON'T GET ANY IDEAS!!!!!

M/L: no don't be embarrassed about the truth silje…

M/B: no, jenny…don't say ANYTHING!!!

M/L: but I thought you cared!!!! We did each other's hair!!!!!

M/B: whatever…

M/L: *cries*

M/B: On with the show!!!

All the Marauders, Snape and Lily were looking at the new girl. She was wearing a sweater that said SoccerAngel on it.

"Hi, I'm Ally and I looooove Brian!" she said and sat down.

"I say we kill her," Sirius said through gritted teeth and watched her with blue narrowed eyes.

"Now, now Sirius. No…killing this time," the teacher said, annoyed. "You remember what happened with Billy Bob. We don't want the aurors coming here and we'll have to leave the country!"

"Screw the aurors!" Sirius said and the teacher gasped. "Release the gofers!!!"

Suddenly, (M/L: not AGAIN!!) a group of gofers came, picked Ally up and threw her out the window. Then they vanished.

(M/B: Random…)

(M/L: Random…)

The kids and the teacher heard a cartoony banging noise as Ally hit the tar which the authors replaced with spikes, poisonous snakes and the unsocial artist from Lord of The Rings who likes to eat people for supper.

(M/L: Nice work.)

(M/B: And I'm only warming up…you just wait it gets better *evil chipmunk laugh*)

"Hey! I wanted to kill her!" Sirius whined and looked at the teacher with puppy dog eyes (M/B: Puppy dog eyes, get it…Sirius…oh never mind) and a girly pout.

Suddenly (M/L:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH….)

(M/B: *puts earmuffs on* this may take a while, excuse us…)

4 HOURS LATER

"OK, you guys finished up there?" Lily yelled, looking at the ceiling.

James leaned to the right, where Remus sat, and whispered. "And that's meant to be my future wife…"

"What?" Remus asked, confusion written across his face.

"What?" James asked, confusion written across his face.

(M/L: Do I hear an echo?)

(M/B: Dude, man I just got déjà vu)

(M/L: scary…)

When the Marauders, Lily and Sevy (M/B: tee hee) saw Sirius' ridiculous pout, they all pointed at him in unison and started laughing in slow motion.

Sirius crossed his arms and frowned, glaring at the other kids, but they ignored him and carried on in hysterics. Sirius walked to a corner and stayed there for a few seconds…but then came back because he got lonely. 

(M/B: typical Sirius…and I LOOOOOOVE HIM FOR IT!!!).

(M/L: oh dear lord)

Just then the door burst open again and two girls entered. The first one was a blond haired girl with snake scale green eyes, and a huge smirk fixed firmly on her face. Just behind her was a brunette, with hazel eyes and biting her bottom lip.

"Boom baby!" The blonde shouted and sat on the floor followed by the Brunette. 

"Yes children," The teacher began "these are our other new students Silje and Jenny."

Silje gave an evil laugh and Jenny heaved a sigh.

"Silje…you dragged me in here now behave your self..." Jenny whispered harshly.

"Don't worry I will." Silje crossed her fingers, behind her back.

The teacher stood up and strolled over to a little book shelf. "Now children which story should I read today? How about jack and the beanstalk?"

Silje and Jenny both whined in union "BORING!"

"Ok how about Cinderella?"

"Fine!" everyone sighed.

"ok…" The teacher moved back to her seat and began to read "once upon a time there was a evil step mother called…"

"Jenny!" Silje laughed.

"Hey!" Jenny complained.

"no called Isabella and her husband died, And she treated her step daughter as a servant, and that little girls name was…can anyone guess?"

Everyone in the class looks blank.

"CINDERELLA! YOU THICK SKULLED CHILDREN!" The teacher exploded. Lily began to cry and ran over to James for a hug. Remus and Jenny blushed and said at the same time "we knew that!" While Sirius and Silje stood up and yelled at the teacher.

"I'm warning you not to shout again." Silje kinda…warned.

"oh yeah whats a three year old capable of!?" The teacher stood up as well.

"Believe us." Jenny raised up "more then you can imagine…"

More evil death stare were sent between jenny, Silje and the kinder garden teacher.

"go on then," The teacher hisses "prove it!"

"YOU AKSED FOR IT!" Silje screamed. Jenny and Silje did their secret handshake, then joined hands and closed their eyes, concentrating REALLY hard.

Suddenly Jenny began to shine Red and Silje glow Green and the teacher bust into flames, running around mad. Just then she went out and from no where an egg dropped on her head.

"That was you wasn't it?" Jenny asked

"YUP!" Smirked Silje.

"What the hell was that!?" James's eyes goggled at Silje and Jenny, as they began to laugh. Then they suddenly disappeared and evil, echoing laughs filled the room.

"Freaky!" Peter whispered.

"Hey!" Sirius winked "that Blonde was cute!" Silje suddenly appeared again and winked at Sirius.

"thanks sweetie!" She giggled, before disappearing again. Just then Jenny appeared behind the kinder garden teacher and shouted "Ogga Booga!" And disappeared.

The teacher just then died of shocked on the spot.

M/L: Ok sooo we got a tiny bit bored towards the end of this chapter and wanted to end it as quick as possible.

M/B: NO! Your coffee level just went to zero that's what happened!

M/L: That's is so not true *falls asleep on desk from lack of coffee*

M/B: Right. Ok readers see ya next chapter! Toodles!


End file.
